Pets vs. Kids

WARNING: PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THE TITLE OFFENDS YOU.

Every now and then, I would get into a discussion that would go down the path of comparing the pros and cons, as well as similarities between raising a pet and a kid.

It would start with a friend making a remark, “taking care of a dog is easy,” “just wait till you have your own kids” or “you don’t know what it feels like to raise a child.” True, my husband and I don’t have children of our own. It was a choice we made before knowing that I can’t have any.

Anyways, back to the title of pets vs. kids. As my readers, you know that we are trying to bring our dog ‘Whisky’ back to Australia. It hasn’t been easy and the process is still ongoing. When we share the ordeal of relocating our pet, the first comment people would say is “why don’t you just give her away?” That is a choice that we don’t entertain anymore. We did think of that when we moved from China to Jakarta and again from Jakarta to Kuala Lumpur. Every time Whisky had to go for a medical prior to relocating, we always felt empty. There is a part of us that is missing and we didn’t like how not having her in the apartment for a few hours made us feel. We also have stripped all her dog instinct and trained her to develop habits that complement our lifestyle. We have changed ours to make sure that we always have time for her.

Giving her away means asking her to get used to a new set of rules and a new living arrangement. What we have accepted and seen as cute behaviour may be seen as differently by her new owners. We would also be asking the new owners to update us (occasionally) about how she is doing. That is just not fair for everyone involved.

When the comparison of pets and kids come up in a conversation, some people do admit that keeping pets and raising children are kind of similar. Here are some of the things that parents with and without pets have shared.

Pets and kids need routine, positive encouragement, love and care. Both put restrictions on your life, they are messy and a lot of work. You have to teach them (obviously not in the same way or level of complexity). People without pets think they understand pets and people without kids think they understand kids. I am sure there is a lot more similarities between the two, but I will stop here.

Let’s look at the difference. Pets will depend on you for their whole life, though the level of dependency varies from pet to pet. Kids will learn to be independent as they get older. Eventually kids will move out and have a family of their own. Pets will never go through puberty , while kids do. When it comes around, it can be a headache for all. Pets will never pay rent, kids might.

Whether you chose to have a pet or a kid, it all requires commitment, dedication and responsibility. A pet owner might be able to relate to the challenges that parents go through in raising their kids, because there is some crossover, and vice versa. So, if you hear the struggle of a pet owner trying to bring their pet back home, please do not advise them to give heir pet up. Would you give your child up if he or she becomes an inconvenience when you move countries?

What a let down

Today, the article on Tom Hanks visiting Australia for his movie, avoiding the mandatory 14 days quarantine gained attention again in one of the Aussie expat Facebook group. It really annoys the living day lights out of me. This is the actor who had Corona virus already and has been given permission to enter Australia despite the international arrival cap that prevented many of us from returning to the land we call home.

A lot of Australian expats are struggling to go home. This week, I read an article on how DFAT employees in Canberra are accused of booking 2 to 3 tickets (paid in full) for overseas DFAT workers. You can read the full article here. It might not be true, but no one is denying it and it makes the current government looks like they are as competent as my Year 3 students. No wait, my Year 3 students can do what is expected of them.

When the Prime Minister issued advice, recommending Aussie expats to come home, it also stated that the national carrier (Qantas) will maintain its operation on both international and domestic routes. Not the case! Australians overseas have to rely on Emirates, Qatar, China Airlines, Malaysia Airlines, Singapore Air and Cathay Pacific to take them home.

A lot disappointment is also directed towards the Australian consular abroad. I emailed them to ask for assistance regarding my expired work visa and they sent me links that provided me with little information regarding my situation. In hindsight, they probably have very little knowledge of what to do despite their ongoing discussions about changes that affect foreigners in Malaysia.

If one day, the government released a statement saying “we got through Covid-19 together” or “humanity helped us overcome the hardship caused by the pandemic” I call bullshit on that. From where I am sitting right now, the government has done very little to help Aussie expats. If anything, they have done really well in dividing the nation. Those who believes that Aussie expats should stay out of Australia and those who want them to come home.

Not all of us are living the life of Tom Hanks. I was going to come home and retire from living abroad. Sadly, that is not going to happen anytime soon. My husband and I can’t continue to survive on what savings we have while hoping that the ticket we have bought is the one that will take us home. I have accepted that reality and it is a downer.

I am not looking forward to my next call with my parents. They were so excited that we are finally going to start living in Australia. But, we need to do what we need to do to survive. For us, this is it. Taking another job offer until the day we can come home without worrying whether or not we made the cap.